Sitting in the passenger’s seat I had a clear view over the cliff’s edge. We were hurtling around its curve altogether too fast, though my husband assured me that he was driving well within the speed limit.
Still, my heart rattled against my ribs.
My palms became cold and damp.
I had to look away.
In recent years I have begun to experience fear in very real, very physical ways whenever we travel through mountain passes or over exceedingly tall bridges. I’ve been told this is common as we age. Supposedly these fears are connected to our hormonal changes.
And yet, I find it maddening.
On this particular weekend we were driving through Montana, between Bozeman and Missoula, as we looked at colleges with our youngest daughter. Those of you who are familiar with Montana may be scratching your heads wondering, “Is there even a mountain pass between those two cities?”
Well, no, not exactly. But my fear is so great that even the tiniest hint of winding roads with sheer edges sends me into a panic. I’ve tried just accepting this new limitation in myself. After all, knowing our weaknesses and recognizing when we need to ask for help, is a kind of strength.
And so, I decided to ask for help – or, at least to leverage the Help that is available in every circumstance.
I decided to take those fear-filled thoughts captive and speak Truth to my soul.
I reminded myself that I was not given a spirit of fear, but of love and of power and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7). I calmed my nerves by saying aloud, “God is near (Philippians 4:5). He upholds me with His right hand (Isaiah 40:13). He is my refuge, my strength, my ever-present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1).”
I felt liberated!
Until we hit the next bend in the road.
I almost had to laugh. Isn’t that just like life? Always two steps forward and one step back.
And isn’t that just like the enemy of our soul? He’s always trying to pull us back into the things that have kept us stuck, things that have kept us from living fully a life of freedom in Jesus.
Let me be clear. I’m not suggesting that simply reciting God’s word is enough to dispel anxiety and fear in all circumstances. Certainly, there are very real conditions which require medical assistance before a sense of equilibrium can be achieved.
But I am reminded of how much of the unnesting journey is a battle against fear. It wells up in our mama-hearts as our children grow into adulthood. It nips at our heels as we release our children into the world. It threatens to blind us to the joy of the journey.
Learning to recognize fear, to take hold of it, to beat it back with the Word of God has been a necessary step in my experience of becoming the parent of young adults. And I’m guessing that these lessons are, or will be, part of your story as well.
And even though your heart might rattle against your ribs.
And your palms might become cold and damp.
Resist the urge to look away.
Instead, embrace the joy of this hard, beautiful journey. Watch as He molds and shapes your child. Embrace His good work in you both.
Because our children need to witness our loving, steadfast faith. They need to see us standing Rock solid in a world-gone-wild. They need to know when life veers toward the cliff’s edge, there is One who is your sure foundation and He will not let your foot slip (Psalm 121:3).
He delivers the afflicted by their affliction and opens their ear by adversity.
Job 36:15
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