Confession

I have a confession to make: Listening to how other women have moved through the unnesting process has brought up a lot of self-doubt.

I have thoroughly enjoyed speaking with women about their journey from being the mother of a child to becoming the parent of an adult. Each has been willing to be vulnerable and lay her heart bare. I have gleaned of their wisdom and have been eager to absorb what they’ve learned in the unnesting process.

And yet, there came a point in every interview where I felt less-than.  

Less capable of starting and continuing good conversations with my own daughters.

Less creative in making the most of their senior year, possibly the last under my roof.

Less skilled at creating a home where my daughters feel safe enough to share their hearts.

But I had to remind myself: I’d asked these women to share their best with me – their best tools and techniques, their greatest source of strength and their best reason for hope in the hardest moments. And like me, each had their own worst parenting experiences. Each wished they could do-over certain moments in their unnesting journey.

I had to take hold of those doubt-filled thoughts and remember the truth. And the truth is: God chose me to be the mom to each of my three girls. And though I have at times failed, and though those memories are painful, there have also been victories. These women were sharing with me their victories. I had to remember not to compare my failures to their victories.

If you’ve read Origins of Unnesting, then you know my hope is that this will be a place of encouragement. But if you are like me, and you begin to doubt your mothering abilities, please know that you were chosen for this role of mom and I am confident you have had victories in the process. I pray that God will reveal where He has led you on solid ground in this calling to train your children up in the way they should go.

And when discouraged, may we remember that the only Perfect Parent had children who went astray. Adam and Eve’s rebellion was not a reflection of God’s poor parenting, but rather a reflection of their sin-sick hearts. The transformation of Adam and Eve’s hearts, of our hearts, and of our children’s hearts is the work of the Holy Spirit. So let us be kind to our tender, mama-hearts as we sojourn together through the unnesting process.

…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think on such things. 

Philippians 4:8